


Beloved

by IseliaDragonwill



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Older Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 07:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IseliaDragonwill/pseuds/IseliaDragonwill
Summary: "It's so quiet I can hearMy thoughts touching every secondThat I spent waiting for youCircumstances afford meNo second chance to tell youHow much I've missed you"Ignis waits ten years to spend one final night with Noctis, before he must go and restore the dawn.





	Beloved

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, my 20th fic. It doesn't feel like it, but here we are. Being the kind of milestone as it is, I'm actually reposting an older fic from a loooong time ago. I'm both interested and terrified to see if anyone recognizes it. 
> 
> Original canon compliant. Sorry. :/ Inspired in part by the song of the same name, that gives me all the IgNoct feels: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfc3zcnrWMQ&list=RDKfc3zcnrWMQ
> 
> Comments and kudos are love <3

In those ten years where the sunlight faded and daemons reigned, Ignis found the one memory that never quite escaped him was the image of his King's face. Over time, everything else became a muted shade of grey, fuzzy around the edges from lack of recollection and importance, but as long as Noctis's face remained–the image of the starry skies in his eyes and pale, smooth skin that lay stark under midnight hair–nothing else mattered.

 

Ten years had passed when he felt it. Noctis was coming home. 

There wasn't much home left to be certain, but the whole of what remained of Eos was somehow insignificant when compared to the home that Ignis offered in a tight embrace, accepted by the King in a secluded corner in the Hammerhead garage. So long as Noctis had this to return to, he could be ripped from reality a thousand times over. Ignis's arms were more home than any room at the Citadel he had ever lived in, if you could call that existence “living”.

It was the middle of the night when they snuck off, with little but blankets and a lantern to guide their way. Perhaps it was actually day, but no one could tell anymore. Where days ended and nights began was of little consequence when everything was shrouded in perpetual dark. All Ignis knew was that the lantern was unnecessary. Noctis would always be his guiding light and he would always follow.

They came upon a haven just outside of Hammerhead; close enough for safety, but far enough to be away from prying ears and eyes. There was nothing to be said that anyone besides the King or the Advisor needed to hear. And the things that were said were...unsettling, heart-wrenching...bearing down with the full weight of despair at what was to come. 

Looking back, Ignis couldn't remember who had started crying first and supposed it didn't really matter, in the end. Noctis was still gone. The home that lay nestled in his arms was still vacant and cold.

“If you'll permit me to say your Majesty, I've never once stopped loving you, all these years that you've been gone.”

The King had simply nodded with a pained gaze that Ignis would feel, but never see. “I know.” 

He had felt it. All those years locked away, suspended in a crystal, absorbing the knowledge and power of the ancient gods, Ignis's love had still been there. It was the tether that connected him to the real world and made him fight to come back and save it; even knowing that saving the world, saving Ignis, would cause that tether to break.

They had kissed. It had been so timid at first, as if afraid that they would have forgotten the effortless way their lips had once moved against each other. But they remembered. The world around them ceased to exist in the moment that spark was lit, their kiss becoming something desperate and feverish. They grasped for a future in between the spaces where their lips connected; a future they both knew they would never have. Now would have to be enough, for it was all they would ever have again.

Noctis had laid him on his back, cocooned in blankets and warmth where their skin met. Lips and tongue and hands had worshipped every inch of him, a favor he longed to return had he not been pinned beneath the younger man in preparation for what was to come. He felt different. The boy that had left him ten years ago, lithe and inexperienced with youth, was now harder, keener and had a aura of patience about him that led him not to rush a thing even considering how much he desired this, how much he missed this, as if they had all the time in the world.

If heaven was having Noctis inside of him, then Ignis had died that night. The surge of ten years of yearning and love poured out of him, wanting nothing more than for Noctis to feel it. He had hurt so long. Release shattered not only his body, but his soul as well. He let it break willingly, knowing Noctis wouldn't be there to put the pieces back together, welcoming it all the same. As long as he had this–maybe, just maybe–he would be able to go on for a little while longer.

Noctis held Ignis as he slept, for once watching over the older man rather than being the one watched over. It wasn't fair. The thought of leaving this life behind, even for something as important as the fate of the world itself, made him bitter and resentful. He wanted more time with Ignis, even knowing that no amount of time would ever be enough. They could have lived their entire lives and grown old, but Noctis would always want more. It was selfish. He ran his fingers through Ignis's hair, then moved them slowly down to brush over the marred skin that served as a reminder of the day when everything had gone so terribly wrong.

“I'm sorry.”

Ignis would never hear it. Years later, the feeling of it would remain, unspoken and unnoticed except in quiet moments when he would swear Noctis was standing there, holding him around the waist from behind.

 

When they had gone to the Citadel, all of them had heavy hearts. The scene mirrored that day so long ago, when they had set out with such a simple goal in mind: go to Altissia. They had been so ignorant then. Ignis cringed at how much his past self thought he knew. 

“Walk tall, my friends.” 

As the footsteps echoed and grew quieter, Ignis cried out and chased after Noctis. Dignity was far from his mind. He scooped Noctis up and hugged him tight to his chest.

“I will always love you.” 

His lips found their home, burning low and deep. He pushed his tongue into Noctis's mouth one last time, trying to savor the taste and imprint it on his memory–sweet, with a touch of tart. 

Noctis rubbed his tongue against Ignis's, falling for the last time into the place he called home, in the arms of the man he would always love. The tips of his fingers pressed into Ignis's cheeks, reveling in the silken skin beneath. He couldn't bear not having this again. 

They lingered and finally pulled apart. 

“I love you too Ignis. No matter where you go, I'll find you.”

He squeezed Ignis's hand. His feet took him then, unwilling, towards his death. Their hands stayed joined until the last possible instant, where fingers graced over each other with as much tenderness as they could muster before falling away to the cold air. Ignis's sightless gaze followed Noctis, until he disappeared behind the Citadel doors.

He was gone.

 

Years later, Ignis would find himself in the Citadel gardens, after the structures had been rebuilt and the flowers were in bloom again. He was there often lately, staring into nothing at all, but seeing something so very distant. Whether it was the far-off future or times long past, even he didn't always know. All he knew was when the warm breeze caressed his cheek, he could feel Noctis there, waiting and watching over him. 

“Soon, my beloved. Soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://iseliadragonwill.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FallenIsel)!


End file.
